As a mother of three children with ADHD, this time of year causes my nerves to fray. I worry about getting a good teacher match. I worry about their behavior in school. I worry about being misunderstood. However, the start of the school year is a great opportunity to focus on communication.
All kids have strengths and weaknesses, but sometimes the weaknesses of ADHD kids can be very public. For instance, there is much more criticism when your child has a behavioral delay than a reading delay. Or even worse, a behavioral delay can sometimes overshadow a reading delay. It is hard to thrive under the scrutiny of judgmental eyes. I have experienced this kind of judgement. When it is cast down on my children, it also shines back to me as the parent. The situation calls for us to advocate for our children. And a big part of advocating is educating.
Parents of ADHD kids unite!
Let's have a pep rally for the work ahead of us!
GIVE ME AN "A"
GIVE ME A "D"
GIVE ME A "V"
GIVE ME AN "O"
GIVE ME A "C"
GIVE ME AN "A"
GIVE ME A "T"
GIVE ME AN "E"
WHAT'S THAT SPELL?: ADVOCATE!
Work with the school to advocate for your children
I didn't start out feeling like an authority on ADHD. I felt very vulnerable. I asked for help from many different sources. But five years after a diagnosis, many sessions of family therapy and extensive reading and reflection on my part, I find that, actually, I can provide pointed knowledge to teachers. In fact, it is essential that I do so! I am moving past asking others “how” to help my children and now I've gained the confidence to go ahead and ask for what they need. We have to work with the school if we want the best outcome. My children are not the first ADHD kids to come through elementary school nor will they be the last, however, it feels that way sometimes, when you have to navigate ineffective interventions and uneducated responses. Most of my experiences with the school are positive, but advocating is still a priority. It is important to foster a collaborative approach with the school. Remember, the school wants parents to be involved, it doesn't have to be adversarial (and most of the time it is not).
As to the focus on communication, I like to start the school year with an email introducing my child to the teacher. I share their strengths, my concerns, interventions that have worked in the past; this outreach is peppered with educational information about ADHD. Often this disorder is negatively portrayed in the media as wild kids with lax parenting. I do my best to frame an accurate picture of my whole child. This is the first step to creating a collaborative approach with the school.
Educate Yourself
A big part of this process is getting educated myself. I have a subscription to ADDitude Magazine; I participate in webinars by leading experts set up by CHADD.org; I have read many books to help me implement new techniques and help to understand the challenges my children face. I want to stay up on the most current research and findings. I encourage you to do the same. We are called to do something extra and if you put the time in, all that work will pay off for you and your kiddos!
Liz Rotatori
Office Manager
Clarity Clinic
Barkley, Dr. R.A. (ND). 30 Essential Ideas Every Parent Needs to Know (about ADHD). Retrieved from http://adhdvideosandinfo.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html
