Do you look on Facebook and often become envious of experiences others have posted about? Do you hesitate to make plans to keep your options open in case a more exciting invitation comes along? Do you constantly check your email or text in the middle of interactions with your family or friends?
If these examples sound familiar, you may have a case of FOMO – the Fear of Missing Out. Psychologists have coined this term to describe the anxiety or restlessness you feel when you fear you are missing out on an activity or experience that may give you more gratification than what are currently doing. While we all struggle with FOMO to some degree, social media has exacerbated this fear.
We all have gotten stuck in the Facebook or Instagram illusion that everyone else’s life is better than ours, with their fabulous posts about their recent exotic vacation, or their selfie showing off their fit body or photos of their beautiful new house. And when people post about their experience or activity, our human nature is to want to be included or experience something similar, which can lead to anxiety and even unhappiness when we can’t keep up.
This social media sequence of searching, comparing and posting contributes to a cycle of highs and lows and affects self-esteem and self-worth, not to mention that we are contributing to the FOMO virus, because my guess, others are envious of what you are posting.
Looking for ways to decrease FOMO? Try these suggestions below:
Practice Mindfulness
When we turn to social media as an outlet for happiness, we are not being present in our own lives. Using Mindfulness, the practice of paying attention, on-purpose, to what is going on in the present moment, allows you to become more focused and connected to your life, as a participant. When you are present, your relationships are stronger and more fulfilling. An easy way to connect to the present moment is to redirect any negative thoughts and focus on your sense. The moment you begin to feel anxiety or your mind wanders to unhealthy thoughts, acknowledge them (because we don't want to dismiss any emotions), but see if you can walk away and go to your senses -- what do you smell, taste, feel, hear or see? to help reconnect to the present moment to reduce the intensity and duration of the thoughts.
Put a time limit on your social media presence or take a break all together
Designate a specific time throughout the day, for a limited period, to visit your social media sites. If visiting social media sites have become a habit or addiction, trying using an app, such as SelfControl or Unplugged, which blocks you from your own personal sites for a certain period to restrict usage. Or better yet, take a break all together from social media sites for a couple of weeks or a month and see if you notice a difference in your moods/emotions
Identify activities that bring you joy and meaning
Studies have shown that participating in activities that bring joy or offer purpose and meaning, such as spending time with friends or family, walking your dog, volunteering or reading a good book, can help reduce anxiety and depression and lift your mood. That also means putting your phone away when you are participating in these joyful activities.
Social media isn’t necessarily evil – it has been a positive platform for a great many things – but when it chips away at our self-worth and deludes that belief that you aren’t enough and your life doesn’t match up to others, then it may be time to evaluate how it is contributing to your FOMO.
Erin Swinson, LMHCA, LPC
Therapist
Clarity Clinic
