Have you ever wondered what a therapist unpacks when they go to their own therapy? In the book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed, author Lori Gottlieb takes readers behind the curtain and shares her personal experience as a psychotherapist seeking talk therapy after an unexpected breakup. Gottlieb explores her personal journey in psychotherapy as she cleverly weaves together several clinical case studies of clients she is treating. These clinical case studies include a seemingly egocentric television producer, an elderly woman facing depression and shame, a newlywed suddenly diagnosed with cancer, and a young woman navigating love and alcohol use.
A view from a therapist
Through this biography, Gottlieb acknowledges that many therapists struggle to recognize when they themselves need support. Gottlieb writes, “Given that I’m a therapist, you’d think that the morning after the Boyfriend Incident, it might occur to me to see a therapist myself…But as I lie paralyzed in the fetal position that’s not the call I make.” Gottlieb’s voice as an author is remarkably humorous and relatable. As an associate licensed couple and family therapist I was struck by how validating it was to read Gottlieb’s internal monologue. Gottlieb perfectly portrays what it looks like to hold space for clients while simultaneously being a human going through her own life challenges. Gottlieb conveys how therapists feel deeply connected to their clients and are intentional about how they engage with each person seeking therapy. One of the highlights of this book is how she candidly explores ethical conundrums such as giving a client a tissue, hugging clients, and attending the memorial service of a deceased client.
Reducing the stigma
A key takeaway from this book is humanizing the field of psychotherapy which I believe results in decreased stigma for folks considering therapy. The clinical anecdotes Gottlieb works with are incredibly varied. Gottlieb successfully demonstrates that psychotherapy is more than treating a diagnosis but creating a container for people to face the most vulnerable of truths and choose to transform despite fear, pain, and grief. Gottlieb writes, “Most big transformations come about from the hundreds of tiny, almost imperceptible, steps we take along the way.”
It is important to address the limitations of this book. Gottlieb holds identities as an economically and racially privileged woman living in California which impacts the lens of this book, Additionally, some commentary about telemedicine is dated due to the book being published in 2019 prior to the COVID-19 pandemic. Despite these limitations, I would highly recommend taking the time to read this book. Gottlieb provides a thought provoking narrative of what it means for you yourself to change and what it means to bear witness to other people’s changes.
Five out of five stars.
Alexia Kingzette, LMFTA
APA Citation:
Gottlieb, L. (2019). Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company.
Title: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed,
Author: Lori Gottlieb
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company
Year: 2019
