“I wish I was skinnier.” “I look horrible in this outfit.” “My body is disgusting.” “Everyone is staring at me, they think I look like a whale.”
Sound familiar? If so, you may be one of many that struggle with negative body image and/or body dysmorphia.
What is Body Dysmorphia?
Body dysmorphia often stems from negative body image, and it can and does impact anyone, at any age. A person experiencing symptoms of body dysmorphia may feel that they are larger than their actual size, experience insecurities regarding how their body looks in comparison to others, and may also struggle with low self-esteem as it relates to their perception and relationship with their bodies. If these thoughts are left unaddressed and allowed to run unchecked, these symptoms can lead to body dysmorphic disorder.
Body dysmorphic disorder itself is an obsessive compulsive-related disorder wherein an individual becomes obsessed with one or more perceived flaws in their physical appearance that, to others, are invisible or very slight. A person with body dysmorphic disorder will exhibit repetitive patterns of behavior relating to self-image. Examples of these behaviors are: Checking for flaws in mirrors, skin-picking, excessive grooming, comparing oneself to others, and/or repetitively seeking out reassurance of one’s looks from others. Note that this is NOT the same as an eating disorder, and body dysmorphic disorder DOES require a diagnosis from a medical professional.
What Causes Negative Body Image and Body Dysmorphia?
There are many factors that contribute to negative body image and body dysmorphia. One such factor is society. In general, the American culture as a whole is obsessed with “the perfect body” type. All one has to do is look at any magazine, TV show, or movie, and you will see and hear all about what American society (and Hollywood…yeesh!) has to say about other people’s bodies. And generally? It’s not positive.
Another factor that impacts an individual's perception of their bodies is their own family culture. Family dynamics, meaning where you grew up, how you were raised, your family’s perceptions and values- they all play a role in how we perceive our physical selves. All one has to do is ask, “What did my family say and how did they talk about weight and their bodies when I was growing up?”
Other factors include peer group perceptions, class, race, ethnicity, social media, and more. Each and every element mentioned here can and does have a profound impact on our view of self.
How Can I Combat Negative Body Image and Body Dysmorphia?
There are a number of ways to address the issues surrounding body image. However, no matter what you do, this will take active work on your part. Reading about it isn’t enough, and all the praise in the world isn’t going to suddenly change the perceptions that have developed over a lifetime. So please, if it isn’t instantaneous, don’t give up. Change is made by small, gradual steps.
Mantras
First, it can be very helpful to develop mantras or affirmations to utilize on hard days. Mantras are words or statements that we repeat over and over again as a form of mindfulness and redirection. These don’t have to be flowery or pretty. They can look like the following:
“My body is a good body”.
“My worth is not tied to society’s expectations or limitations”.
“I have worth no matter my size or shape”.
Awareness of Language and Practicing Thought Stopping
Next, to start addressing the negative outlook, notice the language you use toward yourself. We must develop awareness of the language before we can change it. Take note of what you say that is negative and how often it happens. It can be helpful to journal/document the frequency.
Then, when you catch yourself talking poorly about your body, practice a method called “thought stopping.” Basically, when you say something nasty about yourself, yell STOP! In your head, and turn your body in a different direction. After turning your body, it’s important to then use your mantra/positive affirmations that you developed earlier. These two steps signal to the mind that you are done entertaining that thought pathway and are rewriting a new way of thinking.
Body Neutrality
Another method to improve your perception is to begin to practice body neutrality. Body neutrality is the middle ground between body negativity and body positivity. It basically means that you begin to accept that you have a body and that no matter the size or shape, it is okay and it is doing its job.
In other words, it means you don’t have to call yourself beautiful or handsome, ugly or disgusting. It just means, “I have a body, and that is okay”.
One method to begin practicing body neutrality is the Ho’ Oponopono. This is a Hawaiian exercise that’s utilized for forgiveness and reconciliation. While it is used to work on healing relationships, it is equally powerful when used to help develop a better body image. Ho’ Oponopono has four steps:
- I’m sorry.
- Please forgive me.
- Thank you.
- I love you.
The steps are used in conjunction with a specific body part or area with which you struggle. Again, it is not touting glory and beauty to your body. It is about developing a new, neutral way to think about your body. The language used is about function, not form. Here is an example…
- I’m sorry, stomach.
- Please forgive me for wishing you were firmer, more muscular. Please forgive me for pinching you or sucking you in, and for hiding you.
- Thank you for being my core and for helping me stand up straight. Thank you for helping me be able to laugh.
- I love you.
How we speak about ourselves has a tremendous impact on how we view ourselves, and it absolutely has a ripple effect on our overall perception.
There is one last thing I gently encourage you to consider: Who benefits from your insecurity? Who profits off your insecurity? I would wager it isn’t you, dear reader. Please, be gentle with yourself and with your body. In today’s society, loving yourself is one of the most profound and radical things you can do.
Sam Rich, LMHCA,
NCC Mental Health Therapist
NWI Clarity Clinic
